We Will Wipe It toilet paper mascot - med cape

Yes, this is real.

WeWillWipeIt.com

🧻 Terms and Conditions, Privacy Policy and Sensible Bits & Bobs🧻

(Last updated: Feb 2026. Like toilet paper, we occasionally need to change the roll)

1. What this website actually is

WeWillWipeIt.com provides a humorous novelty service where you can:

  • submit a short message
  • we write it on toilet paper
  • photograph it
  • send you the photo

No actual bodily activity is photographed.
No bodily activity is sold.
Just trust us when we say that your message will be disposed of… appropriately.

It’s satire. It’s catharsis. It’s harmless.

By placing an order, you confirm you’re using the service in good humour and understand what you’re buying:
A novelty photo of a message written on toilet paper, sent to the email address you provide.

2. Age & common sense

You must be 18+ to place an order, or have parental permission to do so.

You agree not to submit content that is:

  • illegal
  • threatening
  • hateful toward protected groups
  • explicit or pornographic
  • designed to harass a private individual
  • anything that could get either of us in actual trouble

We reserve the right to refuse or edit any message that crosses the line from funny → not funny.

If we refuse a message, we’ll usually invite you to reword it first. But we reserve the right to refuse service and issue a refund for anything we deem inappropriate for any reason.

We’re here for petty, not problematic.

3. The service (what you receive)

You will receive:

  • a photo of your message written on toilet paper
  • delivered via email

This is a digital novelty product.
No physical items are shipped.

Because the product is custom and created specifically for you, it is non-refundable, except where required by UK consumer law.

If something goes wrong (major typo, missing photo, technical issue), we will of course endeavour to fix it ASAP, or issue a full refund.

4. Turnaround time

We aim to send your photo ASAP. Ideally within 48hrs max.
Usually it’s faster. Sometimes we are asleep. Occasionally life happens.

If there’s a delay, we’ll let you know. Please check your junk mail folder before chasing up an order – this isn’t our fault – toilet paper knows where it naturally belongs!

5. Social sharing (the fun bit)

You can choose whether your wipe is:

  • Private (only sent to you)
  • Shareable (may appear on our website and/or socials)

If you tick the consent box at checkout, you grant us permission to share your wipe publicly.

We will never include personal info like:

  • full names
  • email addresses
  • identifying details

We may lightly edit messages for clarity or safety before sharing.

If you later change your mind about this, just contact us and we’ll remove it.

6. Payments

Payments are securely processed via WooCommerce Payments (Stripe).
We do not store your card details.

Prices are listed in GBP but available globally.
Your bank may apply conversion fees depending on location.

7. Liability (the boring but necessary bit)

We provide a novelty humour service.
We are not responsible for:

  • relationship fallout
  • workplace drama
  • family WhatsApp chaos
  • existential breakthroughs

Use responsibly.
Or irresponsibly.
Just don’t blame us for any consequences that may result!

We Will Wipe It toilet paper mascot - lrg cape

Privacy Policy 🔐

What we collect

When you place an order we collect:

  • your message
  • email address
  • name/nickname
  • payment confirmation
  • optional social-sharing consent

That’s it.

We collect the minimum needed to run the service.

How we use it

We use your info to:

  • create your wipe
  • send your photo
  • optionally share it (if you consent)
  • handle support requests
  • send you messages about your order or our service

We do not sell or rent your data. We won’t spam you with marketing.
We hate that too.

Data storage

Your order details are stored securely via:

  • WordPress/WooCommerce
  • hosting provider
  • payment processor

We keep order data only as long as necessary for business and legal purposes.

You can request deletion at any time by contacting us.

Cookies

The site may use basic cookies for:

  • checkout
  • site functionality
  • analytics

Nothing sinister.
No creepy tracking across the internet.

Your rights (UK & beyond)

Under UK GDPR and similar laws, you have the right to:

  • request your data
  • correct your data
  • delete your data
  • ask how it’s used

To do so, contact us. We’ll respond like reasonable humans. Even if we’re having a bad day too.

🧻 Final note

Life’s too short to bottle things up.
Sometimes you just need to… let it go.

Trust us with your message. We’ll take it from there.